Its A ShinnStellar Thing
by Xenos Kadmia
Summary: Auel, Lunamaria and Rey have a plan to get Shinn and Stellar together. A little OOC. SxS, obviously.
1. The Beginning Of A Really Good Plan

It's a Shinn-Stellar Thing

As Lunamaria and Rey walked side by side in their shiny, red Zaft uniforms, each step they took was synchronized and if you looked closely, you could almost swear their breathing was synchronized too.

"Hey Rey," Lunamaria said out of the blue.

"Yes?"

"Why is Shinn always looking at the sea lately? I mean, look at him! Always daydreaming and it freaks me out. You know what? I think he's beginning to drink water, don't you think that a little insane?" Lunamaria was almost yelling.

"No, its just you," Rey said calmly, trying to ignore the fact that this woman was actually his teammate in a war.

"Its still weird," she said as her phone rang and she hastened to answer it.

"What?" she said a little too sharply into the receiver.

"I have a plan with what to do with your love-struck boyfriend," a raspy male voice said over the wireless.

"He's not my boyfriend, asshole, what do you want?" Lunamaria asked.

"I've got a plan to hook them up. And when I mean them, I mean the blonde chicken and the black beetle. You know, the BLONDE and the BLACK HAIRED ONE," the voice said with a little bit too much emphasis on the obvious.

"I'm not stupid, you weirdo," Lunamaria said, making a face.

"Whatever you say. Just meet me in the Attha Memorial Park at around 3-ish tomorrow," the voice said "And remember, I'm calling you anonymously"

And then he hung up.

Lunamaria pressed the end call button and looked at Rey with an exasperated look on her face.

"Who was it?" Rey asked.

"He wishes to remain anonymous," Lunamaria said.

"Auel?" Rey asked, a raised eyebrow of amusement crossing his face.

"Yup."

_The next day, at around 3-ish at the Attha Memorial Park_

Lunamaria was with Rey and they were looking for their "mysterious caller" which is a sixteen letter phrase for Auel. Little did they know that their mysterious caller was about to jump them from behind.

"Fark, Auel, cant you say hi like a normal person?" Lunamaria asked.

"Dahling, you know very well that I'm not normal," Auel countered then shot a glance at Rey. "Whats this DUDE doing with you?"

"Just curious. Maybe hoping for a bit of something to do," Rey said with a little hint of a smile.

"Alright, maybe you can be one of the people who play decoy and stay out of the way," Auel said smugly.

"I don't think so," Rey said.

"Okay, whats your plan, Auel?" Lunamaria interrupted them before they could go all out on each other (the fighting kind of all out not the other one, yuck!).

"Well, it involves a girl and a boy, that's for sure," Auel said in a voice so low that he sounded like a midget.

"You haven't thought of this for a long time, now have you?" Lunamaria asked suspiciously.

"Well, to put it shortly, no. I thought of it for like….half a minute then I called you," Auel said with surprising honesty.

"God help me…" Rey said.

--End of Chapter One—

Disclaimer: Gundam does not belong to me. Neither do the characters or anything else.

Author's note: Halloo! I know the story seems confusing since Auel is supposed to be killing the ZAFT pilots, not conspiring with them but please bear with me since this is not a war. This is a ShinnxStellar fic.

Oh and if you would be so kind as to review, that would be greatly appreciated because I don't know if I suck big time or if I even did this right. I don't even think I know what I'm doing so PLEASE review. Thanks!


	2. Putting A Really Good Plan In Action

It's a ShinnStellar Thing

"Good grief, Rey, cant you think of something creative for once? The bouquet of roses is so…old school," Auel was crying out loud.

"Its not supposed to be creative, it's a classic," Rey said, trying to explain his roses idea to a guy who thought hotdogs were romantic.

"Classics are lame. Hotdogs are way more romantic than a bunch of flowers that are doing to die anyway. Besides, you know how touchy Stellar is on the whole death thing. You'll just upset her more," Auel argued.

"What about hotdogs AND roses?" Lunamaria said in a desperate attempt to keep the peace.

"What about thongs? Thongs are cool, Shinn likes thongs, who doesn't?" a voice said out of nowhere.

"That's a good idea, Sting," Auel said, without having to even turn around.

"Now that's a creative idea," Auel said to Rey who just raised a disgusted eyebrow.

"Thanks, I like it too," Sting said proudly.

"Which one? The thong or the idea?" Lunamaria asked suspiciously, her hands protecting her skirt all the same.

When she said that, Sting put on his horny face and looked at her.

"Both."

The four of them continued to plan which took really long since every fifteen minutes or so, they'd get into an argument not unlike the one above. Their plan was really long and it wont really be a surprise if I told you, something like when your teacher says "Hey, we have a surprise quiz tomorrow, and it's a surprise, okay, so don't study." Which is a tad pointless. Good thing for you if you studied but it's a bit of a bore for the teacher who cant fail anyone because her surprise quiz wasn't at all too surprising.

Now then, that their planning is done, get ready to be surprised.

_The next surprising day…_

DINGALING A LING TOOT TOOT TOTOTOOT TOOTOTOTO (don't bother to try and say this out loud, its impossible, like trying to touch your nose.)

Shinn was awakened by his alarm clock, then lay awake in his bed for what seemed like five seconds but was really five minutes then got up dressed and went down in what seemed like ten minutes but was really ten seconds.

Then, he had breakfast as usual, read comics as usual and messed with his guns as usual. Then something unusual happened.

He sat on a Whoopee cushion.

The initial shock was enough to make him jump up and trip over his own feet. As if someone predicted he would fall over (and that would be me) a coffee table was strategically placed near the place where he fell and he bumped his head on it (now, I wonder who put that there?).

Shinn got up and went to get ice for his head but someone had put gum on the door of the refrigerator and made it harder to open. He pulled and pulled with all the might he could muster (which wasn't really a lot, thanks to the bumped head). The door opened suddenly, making him fall flat…again.

To make things worse, Sting came in, looking straight ahead and stepped on Shinn's stomach.

"Fuck! Are you blind as well as horny, Sting?" Shinn cried out louder than he intended due to the throbbing head, the painful arse and now the stepped on stomach.

"Oops, sorry. Didn't see you there Shinn. Cant you lie down on a bed like a normal person?" Sting said, shrugged then went away.

Then Auel came bounding into the room, stepped on Shinn again, like a single army of fangirls in a Click Five video.

"You know, the floor is good for posture. Glad to see you finally thought about your figure," Auel said.

"I don't care about my posture," Shinn said, eyes wide and teeth grit.

"Oh, well. That's too bad," Auel said, stepped on Shinn one last time then went away.

Head throbbing, arse painful and stomach and torso full of Sting's and Auel's footprints, Shinn made his way back to his bed, ice in hand.

He collapsed on his bed and applied the ice on his head when he began to smell something like chloroform (Homer Simpson, anyone?). He fell into a deep anesthetic sleep. And when he woke up….

"Stellar! What are you doing here? And why are you wearing…a thong!"

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam, Click Five or Homer Simpson or anything else mentioned here.

Author's Note: Ack! Thank you guys so much for the reviews! I know, I only got five but my other story wasn't really a success and I had to force my friends to review for me so I wouldn't feel so depressed but this is really cool. I must sound like a really shallow person right now but I cant help it.

**Eternal Rain: **Stings here now, hope you're happy!

To the other reviewers: I'll be happy to oblige to any requests or questions.

To the other people who didn't review but read my story anyway: Did you like it or did you just have nothing else to read? Constructive crit very much appreciated!


	3. The Continuation of A Really Good Plan

Its a ShinnStellar Thing

"Stellar! What are you doing here?" Shinn yelled.

This is too good to be true, he thought. Stellar in a thong, I wonder who came up with that idea? He should be given a medal or something. Oh yes, Shinn was getting really horny now, even if he didn't show it.

"Auel told me to," Stellar replied innocently.

"Well, where is Auel?" Shinn said as he threw off the blanket, it was getting hot and stuffy for some reason.

Stellar, instead of answering him, began to giggle like mad.

"What wrong, Stellar?" Shinn asked when he felt "breezy" all of a sudden.

Heaven forbid what he realized when he looked down. Of course I shan't mention it here for I know that even if they're not supposed to, the little children read things more detailed than mine.

"What the hell!" Shinn exclaimed upon seeing the butt of Stellar's jokes. (haha, get it, butt?)

"I am going to get you AUEL!" he yelled for all the world to know when the next funeral service was to be held. And maybe now, they would get the name right on the tombstone.

Shinn hurriedly put on his pants and a shirt and stormed out in search of Auel (you know, I don't really get it. Why do people always suspect the people who are just a little more outspoken and unique than others. So what if Auel has more things up his sleeves. Maybe he just has longer sleeves).

"Shinn is leaving?" Stellar asked. "Shinn doesn't like what Stellar's wearing?"

I can say right now that Shinn was caught in a really tight spot here. He could've said "Yes, Stellar, I love what you're wearing, if you take it off, I'll be happier" or maybe even "Don't wear it again or I'll be sad." But he didn't.

He said, "Why don't you put on some clothes, Stellar, you might catch a cold."

Shinn, ever the nice guy.

Stellar nodded and obeyed. She picked up her clothes which were neatly folded on a nearby table and got dressed.

How odd, Shinn thought, her clothes are just here. She wasn't raped or anything so I cant be some big hero and get a medal. What if I raped her! Oh no oh no oh no. That cant be. If I'm going to marry her and make babies, I want her to be virgin at least… Great, the irony of everything.

At this point, Shinn gets lost in his own train of thought, forgets his own clothes and walks outside.

"Wow, Shinn, you're so liberated. Here I was thinking Lunamaria was crazy when she kept walking around without a bra on Thursdays," Rey commented.

Shinn looked at him. Then at Lunamaria who was looking at Rey too. Then Shinn bolted back in. He could hear the two of them arguing outside.

"Hey, Meyrin told me that Thursday was lesbo day. She was walking around without a bra too!" Lunamaria protested.

"…you fool," Rey said.

Lunamaria knocked on the door and yelled so Shinn could hear her, "Shinn! Don't forget your condom!"

God, that woman was embarrassing.

He put on some clothes while Stellar sat on the bed and watched him. He wasn't so embarrassed about being in the nuddy in front of her anymore. He dressed quickly and searched for Auel.

It took him quite a while to find Auel because that guy was so elusive and jumpy all the time. If he drank caffeine of any sort, he could run so fast he would assume a liquid state and you'd think a whirlpool just ran past.

He found him in the living room…

…kissing Stellar.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed Destiny or anything else I might've happened to mention here.

Author's Notes: How'd you all like it? Surprising, noh? Leave any comments in the reviews that you will be sending!


	4. What May Seem Like The End But Isn't

It's a ShinnStellar Thing

It was a simple trick, really. (This is where you all breathe a sigh of relief) All Auel had to do was lean really close to Stellar and look passionate about it. The hardest bit for him was to stay that way when he saw Shinn's face when he was "kissing" Stellar.

"Auel, you B!" Shinn yelled (he hadn't gotten used to the thought that Stellar didn't care about bad words).

"Oh, Shinn, hello. Your girlfriend is a great kisser," Auel said nonchalantly, as if it happened everyday, which it nearly does.

"How dare you! Just because you're too weird to get a girlfriend of your own, that doesn't mean you have to hit on someone else's. Can't you at least try to be normal, even if it's a little hard!" Shinn yelled.

"Come on, Stellar," Shinn said and he dragged Stellar out of the living room while Stellar was picking at a piece of dirt that had landed on her hand and wouldn't go away.

"Why is Shinn mad at Auel?" Stellar asked innocently, still mesmerized by the bit of dirt.

"Because!" Shinn reasoned (I say that when I have a really stupid reason for something but I'm too ashamed to say it. But it works, you know.).

"Because?" Stellar asked, she aced her conjunctions quiz and knew because had to have something on the other end.

"Because, don't you know what Auel did to you?" Shinn asked, exasperated.

"Auel? Auel leaned really close to Stellar and looked like he was eating a really bad lemon," Stellar said and she made a scrunched up face as if she were the one eating the really bad lemon. I dare say she does a good job at making ate-a-bad-lemon faces.

"So, he didn't do anything to you?" Shinn asked disbelievingly. This was the second time this week Auel managed to tick him off. The other occasion involved a towel and some missing underwear but that's a different story.

Stellar shook her head then went back to the piece of dirt that was **still** stuck on her hand.

Shinn stopped in front of the bathroom sink where he told Stellar to get that bit of dirt off her hand (finally!). She washed her hands and the two of them remained silent for a while until a question that was nagging Shinn for the short while they were talking finally got the better of him.

"Stellar?" he said while she was playing with the soap.

"Yes, Shinn?" she took her attention from the soap to look at him.

"If ever Auel kissed you, would you like it?" he asked.

Stellar took some time to put this into consideration while the soap was dripping down her elbows.

"Stellar, the soap!" Shinn alerted her and brought her back to reality.

"Oops."

She rinsed and then dried her hands but the dirt was still there. It occurred to her that it might've been permanent marker and she told herself to get the alcohol later.

"Well?" Shinn said impatiently, he was getting tired of this whole dirt-that-won't-come-off affair.

"Hmmm…Auel is nice to Stellar too and Stellar likes Auel a lot. But no matter how nice Auel is, Stellar likes Shinn more," she said simply.

"Really?"

Stellar nodded her approval and she held Shinn's hand with her now mostly clean hand. Shinn grabbed hold of her waist and kissed Stellar while he held her close to him never letting go of her hand.

(The author would like to apologize for her sucki-ness at things like this.)

"I love you, Stellar," Shinn said when they parted.

"I love you too, Shinn," she said and then she smiled at him.

Now, you'd think it ends here but remember, the day hasn't ended yet and Auel has more tricks up his sleeves. At that moment, a bucket of water was being carefully aimed at them…

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam.

Author's note: more to come and remember to review and include there any suggestions or complaints or whatever surprises you want them to have courtesy of Auel dearest.


	5. More Of Scantily Clad Women

It's a ShinnStellar Thing

Little did they know that the bucket of water that was being aimed at them right that very moment was in fact being aimed at them but would miss them by a quarter inch or so. Now you might ask, what kind of a person can aim a bucket of water a quarter inch away from something? Well, Auel Neider, that's who.

The water that had just come out of what looked like a suspicious bucket splashed beside the couple and innocently lay in a puddle beside them. Sting enters the room at that _precise_ moment and says:

"Gasp, look, a puddle of water! What shall I –looks at hand- do with it?"

Yes, he is a dreadful actor.

"I will have to separate the two of you, Shinn, move to the left and Stellar, move a skirmish to the right," he said once he finally got his lines straight.

And so they did while Sting mopped up the water. Rey passed by and Lunamaria passed by. Why? Well, they like passing by. However, their passing-by made Shinn feel a tad suspicious which is the feeling you get if you are in the same house with a schemer like Auel and minions like Rey, Luna and Sting.

Of course, he had every right to feel suspicious because Sting hit him on the back of the head with the handle of the mop and Shinn was knocked out cold. To Stellar, it looked like Sting was mopping away and the handle **just happened** to bump into Shinn ever-so-gently and then Shinn chose that moment to take a nap. After all, every one has the right to take a nap. They also have the right to take a nap where ever they wish, even in hallways and corridors such as the one Shinn is in now.

While Shinn was blacked out, Auel dropped by.

"Hey Stellar, would you mind helping me with something?" he asked.

"Okay," Stellar said.

"Come, there's something I need you to help me out with in the kitchen," he said and he motions her to come with him and they set off for the kitchen.

What they do in the kitchen isn't really important. They might have baked cookies or had a splendid cup of tea but the important thing is that Auel had to bring Stellar to the kitchen to distract her from Sting and Rey who were carrying Shinn's limp body and bringing it to Shinn's room.

Naturally, what happens next is a surprise, so…

…..the end

Author's note: I know that this chapter seems really short and I would like to apologize but I'll have you know that this isn't really the end.

Gotcha there.

Anyway….

Once more, Shinn awoke in his bed, and the air was really stuffy. Dejavu stuff, really so if you want a real description, go back to chapter one, copy paste the description of the room and the air when Shinn woke up, stick it here and there you go.

Since I'm a nice person, I'll take the liberty of doing that for you but with the necessary changes.

_And when he woke up…._

"_Lunamaria! What are you doing here? And why are you wearing…a thong!"_

Lunamaria in a thong, Shinn thought, this feels very wrong. Even though Shinn rather enjoyed scantily clad women beside him in bed, this felt very wrong. All of a sudden, he felt guilty and started looking for Stellar.

Stellar!

He forgot all about her, at least, until that moment. He jumped out of bed and….

"_Well, where is Auel?" Shinn said as he threw off the blanket, it was getting hot and stuffy for some reason. _

_Lunamaria, instead of answering him, began to giggle like mad._

"_What wrong, Luna?" Shinn asked when he felt "breezy" all of a sudden. _

_Heaven forbid what he realized when he looked down. Of course I shan't mention it here for I know that even if they're not supposed to, the little children read things more detailed than mine. _

"_What the hell!" Shinn exclaimed upon seeing the butt of Lunamaria's jokes. (haha, get it, butt?)_

"_I am going to get you AUEL!" he yelled for all the world to know when the next funeral service was to be held. And maybe now, they would get the name right on the tombstone._

_Shinn hurriedly put on his pants and a shirt and stormed out in search of Auel (you know, I don't really get it. Why do people always suspect the people who are just a little more outspoken and unique than others. So what if Auel has more things up his sleeves. Maybe he just has longer sleeves)._

But before he did, he passed by Stellar's room to see if she was there. She was. She was in lying down in her bed, dressed in nothing but a towel and beside her was Rey…

…in a thong!

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Seed Destiny or any or its characters.

Author's Note: So, how'd you like this chapter? Weird, huh? Sad to say that this story has to end sooner or later and it might be in the next two chapters or so. However, do not despair! I'm thinking of a new story which involves Dearka, Nicol and a very odd plot. Don't forget to drop by a review so I'll be able to know your comments, suggestions, questions and/or violent reactions (preferably more of the former and less of the latter).


	6. The Real End

It's a ShinnStellar Thing

Oh god, Shinn thought, Rey in a thong. First, Stellar then Lunamaria then Rey. Were thongs the new fashion statement? What the hell was with the world and thongs? What if I counted the number of times Xenos Kadmia wrote the word 'thong' in this fanfiction? How many would that be?

Shinn clamped his hands over his ears. Too much information about the number of times Xenos Kadmia wrote 'thong' (which, by the way, is seven so you don't have to go back to the previous chapters and count how many times I wrote the word thong because I already did it for you).

Shinn's mind began to whirl. All he could think of was: thong….Stellar….Rey…..Auel……thong…..Stellar……Rey…..Auel….. thong….Stellar….Rey…..Auel……thong…..Stellar……Rey…..Auel…..

thong….Stellar….Rey…..Auel……thong…..Stellar……Rey…..Auel…..

thong….Stellar….Rey…..Auel……thong…..Stellar……Rey…..Auel…..

thong….Stellar….Rey…..Auel……thong…..Stellar……Rey…..Auel…..

thong….Stellar….Rey…..Auel……thong…..Stellar……Rey…..Auel…..

And he got dizzier and dizzier until he fainted right then and there.

When Shinn fainted, which is for the third time in this fic, Auel and Sting once more carried him back into his room. Stellar was, of course, alright, just a little confused as to what the bloody hell Rey was doing in a thong when he had already explained to her that he was straight when she had asked a couple of days ago. While what happened to Rey and Lunamaria was another story…

"Hey Rey, I didn't know you looked so good in a thong," Lunamaria commented.

"Really? Well, in that case, you look good in one too," Rey replied.

"Then are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Lunamaria asked mischievously.

"THONG PARTY!" the two of them shouted.

….I don't think I have to elaborate more as to what they did next. I'll leave that to your imagination.

The thing about coordinators is that no matter how many times you whack them around in their machines and no matter how much they get jiggled inside, they never seem to give up right away. No matter how bruised or wounded they are, they still must fight for whatever it was they were fighting about in the first place. That was how Shinn felt when he woke up for the third time that day. His head was throbbing and he felt really weird about something he saw and he knew he shouldn't have seen.

He felt as if he was whacked and jiggled and tossed about in the Destiny and left to bleed somewhere.

But the feeling went away when he felt the presence of someone beside him.

Someone special.

Someone, who, no matter how crazy things got, stayed with him and was loyal to the end.

Someone who was not Lunamaria in a thong. Or Rey in a thong. Or Auel in a thong (which, by the way never happened so don't go around looking for it in hope of reading about Auel in a thong. No way, not in my fic.)

It was Stellar, sleeping peacefully beside him. And she was, once more, dressed in that thong which has plagued him for the whole day. The room was still exactly the way it was when he first woke up so you can just copy paste it and read it (hey, I did it the last time, its your turn this time).

Everything was the same and Shinn could feel the dejavu (I still cant spell it right) flooding back to him.

Except this time, he did the smart thing.

This time, he didn't get up.

The end.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam.

Author's Note: So, that's it. That's the end of **It's a ShinnStellar Thing **and I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing and being so nice even when the fic got crappy. I hope I made up for it this time. Again, check out my other fic, Nicol's NotSoDirty Little Secret which is about Dearka trying to figure out who Nicol's crush is.


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